My birthday is this Thursday, June 15th. A couple weeks ago during worship, I was thinking about my upcoming birthday and reflecting on my life, when I started thinking about how I am, yet again, in a season of waiting.
Is it just me, or does it feel like so much of our lives are spent waiting on the Lord? One chapter closes, the season passes, and then the Lord moves you into a new season, filled with hope, adventure… and more waiting.
In my life I’ve been in seasons of waiting to get pregnant, waiting for the Lord to take away physical pain, waiting for Him to take away depression and emotional pain, waiting for Him to show us who we were meant to adopt, waiting for Him to redeem the incredibly painful season that adoption ushered into our lives, and so on and so forth.
But in the waiting God is good.
I know it can feel like He abandons us, in the waiting seasons of our lives, but the opposite is true, He’s drawing near and wanting us to lean into Him to see what we’re supposed to take away from each waiting season.
I have found, in each season of waiting, it helps to reflect on His promises. Most recently I’ve found myself in the word, reading His truth but one of my favorite things to do is listen to, or read, prophetic words that have been spoke over me. There have been so many seasons where I’ve felt downright stuck, so when I received this word from one of our pastors, my heart was filled with hope –
I keep seeing this ceiling over you. What I heard was a promise, that He’s going to break it. You know in your spirit there’s more but you’ve been coming up against this ceiling and you’ve been contending against this ceiling for a long time. The Lord is saying it’s not really about the ceiling, it’s about you and Him, and He’s going to break it but it’s His job. It matters to Him, and you needed to know that He sees it and He’s going to shatter it but He’s going do it His way, in His timing, and it’s coming soon.”
I’m sure you can imagine how overjoyed I was when I heard the Lord was going to “soon” shatter, the ceiling I’d been banging my head against my whole life. Unfortunately the Lord’s version of “soon” and mine are on different pages, because I received this word 2 years ago and I’m still banging my head against that ceiling.
Even though I am still waiting, at least I know God sees what I’m up against, and that it “matters to Him”. God knows what you’re up against too, and just like my ceiling, your obstacles matter to Him!
Five years ago, just before walking into the hardest season of my life, I received this word from the Lord –
He has a destiny for you and nothing can stop it. You’re headed for it. You don’t need to rest, you don’t need to run, just keep moving. Move at your pace, but as you are moving, enjoy the scenery. He has a destiny for you, you will get there. You are going there and nothing, I don’t care what it is, can stop that.”
Proverbs 10:5 says, “Know the importance of the season you’re in and a wise [daughter] you will be.” I’m learning that each season matters and it’s important to slow down and “enjoy the scenery” so we can see what God is doing, and what He’s trying to teach us. But it also feels good to know that even if I don’t “get it” the first time, I’m headed for my destiny and nothing can stop me from getting there.
Each of our journeys are so important, each of them designed uniquely for us, to lead us closer to the Lord.
Where we are headed isn’t the most important thing (although it sometimes feels like it should be). The most important thing is our relationship with the Lord. Leaning into Him in the tension of the waiting seasons, learning to trust that He’s leading us toward our destiny and trusting that He’s working through the pain in our lives to lead us toward His purpose.
In his book An Unstoppable Force, Erwin McManus says, “Those of us who live in this window of history must consider ourselves uniquely appointed by God.” I would agree with that statement wholeheartedly. Each of you have been uniquely appointed by God. Each of you carries a purpose greater than yourself. But will you allow yourself to be lead by the Lord into that destiny or will you end up fighting Him because you don’t like waiting?
I definitely don’t like waiting, I’m a doer, I want to accomplish things, but the Lord knows that and He’s happy to make me wait as long as I have to until I’ve gleaned all the wisdom I need to in the season I’m in.
I’m not writing this as someone who has it all figured out, in fact I’m more confused now about where I’m headed more than ever before. I have no clue what God is up to, or what the next step will look like. But while I’m in this place I’m going to keep reading the words that have been spoken over me, I’m going to keep reading each book the Lord leads me to and I’m going to continue to trust that He knows a lot more about me than I do.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9